Breathe
by Bittersweet314
Summary: A collection of one-shot drabbles that give you an insight on what Cinderpelt really thought and felt at the most significant and memorable moments in her life. After all, its not the number of breaths you take but the moments that take your breath away..
1. The First Breath

**A/N: Hi everyone! This is my second ever fanfic and it's the first fanfic of mine that is an actual story. My other one's just poetry. Its awesome by the way. so if you have the chance you should totally check it out. **

**OK sooo…  
****I'm nervous.  
****The end.**

**Really, though, let's get on to it. Sorry if it sucks.**

**This is all from Cinder**_**pelt**_**'s POV. (not Cinder**_**heart**_**)..and also I don't know how often I'll update this or how many chapters it'll end up lasting. My other fanfic "Poems & such : Warrior's Style" will always go first for me. & if this goes that badly, I'll take it down. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Warriors...**

_The First Breath_

My first breath of air.

That's where it all started. Isn't that where it always starts? For everyone? And everything? At the first breath…

I remember it fairly well for me to have been so little at the time. Not everyone remembers their first breath, but somehow, I do. I remember opening my little, mewling, kit-sized mouth wide in hopes of sucking down all the air that would come my way. I remember trying with all my might to force down as much oxygen as physically possible for a cat as tiny as I was - as we all are when we're kits.

Past that, I can't remember _too_ much more – I was young, after all, almost as young as I could possibly have gotten – but I do remember a few small, insignificant details (other than fighting to breathe) that really don't have any importance at all.

Brightkit whining in the corner, already wanting Frostfur to suckle her. Silly Brightkit.

Also, Brackenkit sat in the shadows, off to the side, being patient, polite, and serious, like always. And I do mean _always. _

I remember not being able to see…

I hated that part worse of all. I was so curious from the very start that I didn't want to wait to be able to behold the wonder that was sight. I wanted to be able to see _everything_ right _then_ at that _exact_ moment.

Of course, I still had to wait. Just like everyone else.

But the fact that I wanted sight more than anything at that moment in my life stuck with me. Don't know why.

Past that, however, I don't remember a whole lot else.

That was my first breath. Maybe I'm overanalyzing but from the very first to the very last breath I breathed in and out physically _many_ time, just like everyone else who breathes. Too many breaths to count. Too many to even think about.

I don't remember all the pointless breaths that though small and seemingly non-important, carried me through life. However, I remember very clearly the moment that took the breath clear out of me. Left me speechless, wonderstruck, whether it was from horror or happiness. Those are the times I remember.

And those are the times that I'm here to tell you about.

Because those are the times that actually _matter_.

**A/N: Well, maybe that was too much detail or whatever. I don't know.  
****REVIEW and tell me what you think! It'll make me happy:)  
****Even if it's bad, the fact that you took your time to review will make me happy.**

**Sooooo R&R! :D**

**-Bittersweet314**


	2. Ceremony

**A/N: Hi everyone!  
****OH MY GOSH!  
****Soooo many people reviewed! Four! For my first chapter! Oh, I'm so excited…**

**OK, so this chapter is sort of self-explanatory, so um I'll just let you figure it out…**

**Disclaimer: **_**don't ownnnn…**_

_Ceremony_

My mother Frostfur picked me up gently by the scruff of my neck in that embarrassing way that queens pick up their kits. Well, it embarrassing if you're the kit, at least.

She padded outside the warm, milk-scented nursery where I'd spent my entire life so far. Frostfur walked straight up in front of the Highrock and then set me down. I immediately shook myself so my fur would puff out comfortably again instead of laying down nicely like it had been before. My parental figure had spent forever licking it down to make it look smooth and perfect, just like a kit's fur was "supposed" to look, or so she said. I, of course, had just gone and ruined all her "hard work."

Brackenkit, however, sat beside me with his fur good and slicked down. Always the good kit, that one was. Always so silent and still. We were about become _apprectices_! How could he not be jumping excitedly up and down, like I was?

I sighed. I didn't think I'd ever understand my brother. Or his actions for that matter. Much less, his thought process.

But this was _my_ moment, I was going to concentrate on _me_.

ThunderClan's totally awesome lead, Bluestar, had just called a Clan meeting. I was _so happy_ I think I was about to burst out of my fur!

"Fireheart…" she said…

She said a lot more than that but my excitement made me temporarily deaf, so I don't particularly remember the exact words. Something or other about passing on all the skills he had learned onto me.

Holy mess, I was _actually going to be an apprentice_!

Bringing me back from my thoughts, I heard the crowd of cats gather beneath our strong leader's perch mewing my new name, "Cinderpaw! Cinderpaw!"

I sat beside my mentor and shook with joy as I watched my brother go through the same sacred ritual as I had just gone through, though he looked _so_ calm and composed the whole time. Like he had everything figured out. Which he probably did.

He and Graystripe touched noses briefly and then a chorus of "Brackenpaw!" broke out. I realized that I hadn't done this with Fireheart, and turned in a panic to see if he'd noticed too. Which, he had.

We tried to touch noses but ended up bumping each other hard in the face. I smothered a giggle. I guess he was just as nervous as I had been.

I still couldn't believe I was actually going to get the amazing opportunity to be an apprentice! Wow…I was _so _freaking lucky to be a Clan cat. And I got the best mentor in the world, too.

I don't think it actually sunk in that this was for real happening to me until I slept in the apprentice's den for the first time that night.

Brackenpaw of course didn't even seem excited. He took life too serious, I remember thinking.

However looking back, I was the one who didn't take life seriously enough.

Little did I know how soon that would change…

**A/N: Let me know what you think..  
****Too much detail?  
****Am I overthinking things?  
****Cause I over analyze everthing…  
****Good or bad, let me know so I can fix itttt….**

**SO REVIWERS:  
****(ya'll are awesome by the way)  
****-Stormingdawn: thank you! that means a lot to me! (:  
****-Shimmertail: Thank you for reviewing this story too! I loved Cinder when she was still small and excited and happy:) that's when she was at her best to me.  
****-InSanityStorm: Thank you for reading this story as well as Poems and Such! "silly Brightkit" I was wondering if anyone would pick up on that. :)  
****-Meiveva Sirenice: no need to fear! I shall continue! :) thanks for taking your time to review!  
**_**THANK YA'LL SOOOOO MUCH!**_

**R&R YA'LL! (:**

**-Bittersweet314**


	3. Crunch

**A/N: Hey everyone! I feel like SUCH an idiot! Oh my goodness, I can't believe that I kept putting Bramblekit instead of Brackenkit. Please forgive me. I went back and tried to correct it, so it should all be good now. But wow. Talk about a blonde moment.  
****But hey, I wrote chapter two really late at night, so it's understandable why I screwed that up.  
****  
Anyways, here's chapter three. It's short, but still. I like to write in short chapters. Long ones get tiring after a while.  
****Hope you like it:)**

**Disclaimer (why do we have to put these, again?) : I don't own blah blah blah blah blah….**

Fireheart had told me to stay.

Why is it that I never listen to directions? Especially ones that were so simple as _stay put_.

Whatever my reasoning was, I was stubborn and set on going off to tell Tigerclaw that Bluestar was sick and couldn't come. So I did.

I ran fast through the green forest, jumping over fallen tree branches and random decaying logs. My paws started to feel a tiny bit raw, but like I said, I was determined.

The trees and leaves rushed by me in a swirl of earthy colors as I raced toward what I didn't know at the time would almost be my demise.

I followed Tigerclaw's scent till I got to the extremely narrow stretch of ground that Tigerclaw was supposed to be waiting at.

But the thing was, he wasn't there.

And neither was any sign of ShadowClan scent or even any prey scent either.

Confused, I looked around, thinking maybe I had messed up and had gone too far down the small stretch of grass that lined the Thunderpath. I hadn't as far as I could tell. Either Tigerclaw had cleaned up the mess already and started to head back, I was completely wrong about where I was supposed to meet him at, or he hadn't ever been here.

I turned. Might as well go back to camp, if there wasn't anything here.

_Crunch._

I felt it hit my back leg _hard_, and a waterfall of pain rushed over me. the horrible, acrid smell of the Thunderpath surrounded me. Quick spasms raced up and down my small, lithe body as I tried to walk forward before I was hit again.

I couldn't do it. I wasn't strong enough to even walk two inches to safety.

I failed.

Then everything went black.

**A/N: OK, well that was weird.**

**Reviewers:  
****-Anonymouse: Yes, sorry! Maybe it's fixed now. Thanks for pointing it out, though!  
****-Shimmertail: I know right! I lovvvvee little Cinder. She's sooo cute!  
****-Legendary Hero: Well, thank you! I do try to give things my own twist, though I'm not quite sure if i'm all that good at it. and I didn't do the kidnapping thing just simply cause I didn't feel like it. sorry.  
**_**MUCH THANKS TO ALL OF YA'LL REVIEWERS!**_

**Reviewwwww!**

**-Bittersweet314**


	4. Pain

**A/N: Here it is, another chapter!  
hope it's' as good as the others. It was a little harder to write, but whatever.  
****  
before I get started, may I just say that soooo many people from all over had viewed my stories. WOW! People from Germany, Australia, the US, Canada, Hong Kong, and a whole bunch more! Even two people from Estonia! I didn't even know there was a country called Estonia. I'm not tryin to be disrespectful, but where in the heckkkkk is Estonia? Now I'm curious.**

**Anyways, thanks ya'll for reading this!**

**Disclaimer: ….ANNNDDDD I **_**still**_** don't own warriors.  
**

I felt my sore eyelids stinging as they lay heavily on my icy blue eyes.

_What had happened to me?_

I gently as I possibly could, opened up my left eye and immediately felt it start to water. There was Yellowfang.

Why the mess was I _here_ of all places?

I quickly tried to sit up, but felt a staggering pain ripple throughout my entire body. Shoot. That was not good.

Suddenly, I started to feel incredibly feverish and clammy. Something wasn't right.

"Wha's goinn onnn.." I slurred, still drowsy from my obviously long bout of unconsciousness and weak from the starling pain in my leg.

"Shh, just lay back down and try to get some more sleep. You'll be okay." I heard Yellowfang rasp.

But that's the thing.

It didn't _feel_ like I was going to be okay. It felt like death was coming.

The sad part was, at that point, the pain was so bad, I would've welcomed death as a blessing.

...

"You'll never be a warrior."

Those five words ruined my entire life.

"I know," I said. Of course I knew. How could I not? It's not like I was still some naïve kit that didn't know a water vole from a regular one.

"I'm sorry, Cinderpaw, you know I am. But there's just nothing we can do…" Fireheart faded into silence. I felt worse than I had when I'd first woken up, the day after it had all happened.

It's funny sometimes how the mental pain can hurt worse than the physical.

I was never going to be a warrior.

I was never going to amount to anything.

I was destined to be a burden to the Clan for the rest of my life.

What was I supposed to do? Would I _ever_ make it through?

Or maybe I was better off dead.

Well, we'd find out soon.

**A/N: ummm that didn't exactly turn out like I was planning. Oh well. Hope somebody enjoyed it.**

**Reviewers:  
-Shimmertail: I know right! It was soo hard to write it. I hated that part, but well, it had to be done…  
-Robinpaw08: I really really like your username!  
and thank you, it's hard to write a good crippling scene!  
**_**THANK YOU BOTH SOOOOOOO SOOOOO SOOOOO MUCH!**_

**R&R! (:**

**-Bittersweet314**


	5. Hope

**A/N: Please forgive me.  
for this chappie is SUPER short.  
but it's a filler, and well, you know how that goes.  
it doesn't.  
so bear with me, and I swear that the next chapter shall be longer.**

**DON'T OWN!**

It had been a bad last few moons.

There really wasn't any other way to put it. Feeling like you're a burden to the whole Clan, not being needed for anything, hurting yet not wanting to complain, being weak but not wanting to look weak, watching battles and not being able to fight; the list goes on and on…

Basically,, it was horrible.

I was horrible.

Yellowfang said I was over exaggerating and that I'd get over it in time. I heard her, but I didn't really listen.

She also said I wasn't useless.

More hearing-without-listening followed.

Then one day, she said the words: "Cinderpaw, how'd you like to become my apprentice. I'm getting up there in age and…well…"

Oh, I was listening now!

"YES!" I remember squealing.

Then something strange happened.

I had been in such a dark, deep place in my life that I didn't even recognize what it was that happened. What it was I could literally _feel_ growing inside of me.

Hope.

**A/N: Gosh, that was like borderline drabble-length. Oh well.  
I promise next time will be longer since the next chapter I'm planning on writing about the day they drove out Tigerclaw from ThunderClan.**

**Anyways, here's to the best reviewers everrrr:  
-InSanityStorm: thank you! I was in a bit of down mood when I wrote it, so the sadness came easily. But its all good now:)  
-Pencil37: I KNOW! I HATED THAT SCENE! & twilight was good till then, but noooo stupid badgers had ruin it…*sulks*  
-Meiveva Sirenice: Thank you, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! it was drivin me nutttssss not knowin where the mess Estonia was!  
-Shimmertail: It is kinda hard to imagine her being a warrior, but I guess we'll find out with Cinderheart…sorta.  
**_**SOOOO MUCH THANKS GOES OUT TO ALL OF YOU!**_

**Reviewith!**

**-Bittersweet314**


	6. By the River

**A/N: OK so I know that I said I was going to do this chapter where Tigerclaw gets sent into exile, but I really wanna do a chappie about Silverstream & all that stuff, so to have it make sense and be in order, I have to do the Silver one before the Tiger's Exile one, so here it is!  
The next one will be Tigerclaw's exile, though! Promise!**

**And yay! I have fifteen reviews! :)))**

**Disclaimer: do not own warriors; please don't sue me. the end.**

_By the River_

I limped along the mossy overgrown path that lead to Sunningrocks. _Curse you, Cripple Leg, curse you! _I remember thinking. _Why can't you move faster?_

The world was spinning, but I had to keep going. Had to keep pushing on. My mouth was watering annoyingly because of the many different herbs stuffed inside of it, the mixture of aromas causing my eyes to slightly sting.

But that didn't matter right then.

Nothing did.

Except Sunningrocks. Sunningrocks mattered.

My head was feeling incredibily light, but not in a everything's-great-I'm-floatin'-on-air kinda light. An I-do-believe-I-could-pass-out-at-any-given-moment-from-exhaustion-and-anxiety light.

_Finally_, I saw the large round shapes appear on the horizon.

Yes! I made it!

I sprinted as best I could.

Pain. Such intense pain like you couldn't even believe. My leg. My stupid, stupid leg.

Well, my leg had tried to stop me before and it was trying to stop me again, but the thing was, it wasn't going to stop me! Nope! I wasn't going to allow that to happen. Especially not now with _so_ much hanging on the line.

I was going to make it.

Not that _I _mattered at the moment. I didn't.

I came to an abrupt halt, skidding on the pebbles that littered the ground near the bank of the river.

I hopped up onto the large boulder and raced (as best as I could race!) over to the fragile heap of fur collapsed against the brilliant silver surface of Sunningrocks. Silverstream.

The kits. Graystripes kits.

They'd come early.

_StarClan, no, no, no, no, no…_

I couldn't do it without Yellowfang. I…I, I couldn't. but I had to. And I did.

_Oh, why me?_

…

"Fireheart!" I wailed. StarClan, oh my StarClan, oh my dear sweet StarClan…how'd I get into this mess? "Get your furry self down here!_ I need you!_"

I ran (sorta) to meet him, holding in my jaws a small deep gray kit, all its fur plastered to its tiny little body which shivered making it look even smaller than it really was.

"Is it dead?" he asked, worry creeping ominously into his voice.

"No!" I said, feeling frantic, "Lick! Fireheart! Make it get warm; make sure it's blood's flowing!"

I staggered back over to Silverstream, and the over-protective Graystipe, who really needed to back off, though I can understand why he didn't.

"You're going to be OK, Silverstream. The kits are going to be alright. It's all going to turn out alright..there's nothing to worry about. Just hold still…don't' worry; just hold still…" I couldn't decide if I was really trying to reassure her or myself.

"Are you sure?" Graystripe mewed.

I ignored him. Too busy. Couldn't help it.

Then I heard Fireheart screech "it's alive!"

"Of course it's alive, mouse-brain! I told you, didn't I?...Okay Silverstream, you're doing fine, just fine…its all fine…"

Just then Tigerclaw came down into the gulley. I suppose he'd been standing there higher up the rocks before. Details, details, they're kind of fuzzy now, but I suppose that's the way it went…

"A _RiverClan_ cat! That's a _RiverClan_ cat! What is going on here?" he hissed.

"YOU'VE DONE IT!" I shouted at both Silverstream and Graystripe. Quick, repetitive prayers were sent up to StarClan – _thank you so much._

I turned.

"Here. Lick." I said, sitting the second kit in front of the edgy deputy.

"Do I look like a medicine cat to you?" he said haughtily.

Anger. My icy blue eyes became blazing as I turned to face Tigerclaw. "You've got a tongue, don't you? LICK! You _useless lump of fur_! You don't want the kit to die, do you?"

Yeah, ok, so not the best move, but hey, whatever.

…

Something wasn't right.

The bleeding…there was so much blood. and it wouldn't stop no matter what I did, no matter what I tried. Nothing was stopping it. I didn't know what to do!

"Graystipe, try to make her eat some of this herb; we have to stop the bleeding! Hurry!" I hissed over my shoulder at the wide and frazzled warrior.

"Is she going to live? Is everything alright? I thought you said it was alright?" StarClan, he was annoying me.

"Feed her the herb!" I yelled.

Ripples started to course quickly through her thin body. Spasms of pain pulsed from her insides. I didn't know what to do!

"_Silverstream_!"

With that desperate wail from Graystripe, I knew it was no good. I had failed.

Then her eyes closed.

The end.

"Silverstream…" I said, my voice barely a whisper…

"_Silverstream, no, no, no…don't go. Please don't leave me!_" the tabby Warrior's grief-stricken cries pulled tight at my heart-strings. What was there left to do.

"SILVERSTREAM! SILVERSTREAM!" Graystripe's grief was becoming unbearable to listen to. I couldn't take it anymore.

_Silverstream…_

_I didn't mean to fail you…I'm sorry._

_So sorry…_

**A/N: This right here's the longest chapter I've ever done. And one of the saddest. Dang. I really got into writing this one. Hope it was OK. I'm fairly happy with the way it turned out…what about you? eh?**

**Reviewers (ya'llarethebest:))  
-Meiveva Sirenice: thank you! Hope is one of my favorite words. Did you know that the original meaning of hope wasn't just like "oh I hope that I become a writer one day," it was like "I have a CONFIDENT EXPECTATION that I AM going to be a writer one day!" It was like you KNEW it was happening and you were confident. Pretty cool, huh? I think so!  
-Shimmertail: One of my favorites was actually Rising Storm, mainly because of the cute-ish (though seriously brief) conversation between Cinderpelt and Fireheart in like Chapter Thirteen…maybe fourteen..somethin like that. Specific, yeah I know. I was just reading it the other day…  
Imma look up that video!  
ANDDDD thank you SO much for reminding me about Silverstream or I'd have forgotten to do this entire chapter! Thanks!  
**_**THANK YOU BOTH! THE REVIEWS MEAN A LOT!**_

R_**&**__R!_** (**_**:**_

**-Bittersweet314**


	7. Catmint

**A/N: This was hard-ish to write, cause I have been gone from FanFiction for soooo long (SORRY!) and I just haven't felt very …creative…lately. **

**If you're a reader of Breathe, but not of my other story, Poems & Such, I'd love you forever and a day if you'd go read Poems & Such and leave me a pretty little review to make my dull world bright and full of lollipops:)  
Yeah, that was stupid. Sorry.  
Just go read and review it! (:**

**Also, I have a poll on my page that EVERYONE needs to go vote in.**

**Okay, this A/N's starting to get out of control.**

**Disclaimer: Bittersweet does not Warriors. *sigh***

_Chapter Seven: Catmint_

I rolled over on top of my stiff leg. I felt pain sear my muscles and I instantly rolled onto my other side.

"Uhnnn…" I mumbled as Yellowfang prodded me in the side with her paw.

"Your leg bothering you again?" she asked, her golden eyes burning into me.

"I'm fine," I said and crawled to my paws. "I'm just perfect."

"Okay." She didn't exactly sound like it was okay, though. She never believed me, and why should she? I _was_ lying to her after all. I felt like a badger had picked me up and slung me against a tree. **(A/N: oh, the irony)**.

The day drug by, crawling along extra slow for me because my leg was acting up yet again, hurting no matter what I did. I had to do something but what could I do? Poppy seeds only helped so much. Even if I chewed poppy seeds day and night the pain wouldn't stop. I needed something stronger.

_Catmint._

Perfect.

I padded along quietly to the edge of a random twoleg fence, trying not to make too much noise, which was not an easy feat, considering my (you guessed it!) leg. StarClan knows, I was _so_ tired of that leg. _Always_. Getting. In. My. Way.

I gritted my teeth and jumped up onto the fence, slipping, the back end of me getting weighed down and falling. I felt my fur scrape against the wood and I let out a yowl, but sank my claws down into the fence anyway. I pulled myself up, inch by inch by my front claws till I was safely on top, balancing, waiting, breathing rapidly, raggedly.

I looked over into the twoleg garden, scanning it for catmint and hoping that nothing had heard me.

There was nothing though, so I moved farther down the fence, wobbling and shaking like the mouse-brain I was.

At long last, I found a garden full of catmint, it's gorgeous green leaves looking fresh and ready to be picked. I tried to leap down, but landed unsuccessfully on my back in a patch of sharp stickers that tore at my soft grey fur, still fluffed up from kit-hood. They tore into my skin and I felt blood come out, but not enough to worry me. I could just press some cobwebs on it when on my way back.

I started to pluck catmint, going for the ripest and newest looking bits of it till I heard a dog from inside the twoleg's den start yapping, upon which I frantically started tearing off the catmint. I sprinted over to the fence, which looked even higher from this side. I braced myself and jumped, just barely making it up there, but ripping my wounds on my back open even further.

_Great_, I remember thinking. _Just great._

I hopped down and ran (well, kind of; it was _my_ version of running, okay?) back to camp.

The catmint was still clamped tightly in my mouth.

_Safe._

…

I stopped right before I got back and chewed up once of the catmint leaves, savoring the taste, feeling it instantly make my leg loosen up and the pain ebb away enough where it was bearable. Present, yes. It would _forever_ be present. But at least now it was bearable.

I decided I could just tell Yellowfang I had gone for a walk to make my leg muscles less tight and had gotten caught in some brambles (not really a lie, was it?) and she could get me some cobwebs.

I came up to the large rock I knew was the medicine den on the other side and dug a small hole, lined it with moss that was lying about, and put my catmint safely in the hole. I covered it with leaves. Maybe it'd be safe there.

…

When I burst through the trees behind my medicine den where Yellowfang kept all her herbs and bundles of dried leaves, I noticed a few different things, all at once.

The air was tense and heavy in the medicine clearing.

Yellowfang wasn't there.

A pile of leaves was scattered on the floor, left haphazardly behind by my mentor.

And I heard a loud tumultuous noise from outside the den.

ThunderClan was in the midst of battle.

**A/N: Well, that turned out nicely:) if I say so myself.**

**So I honestly was not planning on giving Cinderpelt an addiction to catmint, but I guess I just did haha. What do you think? I have to make this different from the books in **_**some **_**way. Fireheart didn't know everything that was going on with Cinderpelt, I guess. **

**Also, guess which battle's just started? It may have something to do with a certain Tigerclaw trying to take over.**

**What do you think about having some one-sided CinderXFire in this fic? I'm thinking yes.  
Also what about doing a chap dedicated to the medicine cat ceremony?**

**Anywhooo. Reviews;  
-**_**AnonyMOUSE : **_**Your penname made me laugh.  
Why have a one-shot when I'm considering turning this fic into a semi-almost-kinda-sorta one-sided type CinderXFire thing?  
And I looked up Spottedleaf's honest answer and couldn't find anything. Can you give me link or something? It is a story, right?  
-**_**Pencil37: **_**Oh, definitely. Being Yellowfang's apprentice took Cinderpelt from excited, happy kit to serious and great medicine cat whose personality was very similar to Yellowfang's.  
-**_**LightningstormZero: **_**Thank you!  
-**_**Shimmertail: **_**Mine, too! That chap. was sooo emotional and I think it really matured Cinderpelt to the point of her going from care-free and light-hearted to having a much darker personality and like I said to **_**Pencil37**_** kind of adopting Yellowfang's personality.  
-**_**Meiveva Sirenice: **_**Thank you, I tried hard to and I'm very glad that I lived up to expectations and captured it well.  
**_**THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH! IT MEANS THE WORLD TO ME THAT YOU'VE REVIEWED!**_

**R&R ya'll!**

**-Bittersweet**


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